Dear friend,

This may sound cliche but please hear me out…

I think some of the best life lessons come from our failures. We grow the most by not getting what we want or not having things work out in our favor all the time.

This seems counter to what it should be but I’m beginning to believe that going after a dream is not actually about achieving the dream in a nice, easy, buttoned up way. The purpose of the dream chasing process is for us to become the people we are capable of being to live out that dream. In order to become that we need to be “cleaned out” so to speak. 

I’m finding that dream chasing is actually a detox process and a catalyst to taking a “pilgrimage toward the center of our hearts” as Barbara Holmes says.

You see, when we go off on this journey, we are really taking two journeys simultaneously.

The first journey is the outer journey. These are the outward steps/actions to make our dream a reality; the phone calls, emails, investments, research, planning, asking. The things that others can actually see us doing. 

The outer journey often then leads to an inner journey that we likely didn’t intend on taking. 

The inner journey is all the things we need to heal within ourselves to actually make the dream a reality. It’s the inward process of working through the fear, resistance, hesitation, judgment. The invisible stuff that goes on within us that people can’t actually see that we’re working on. If we don’t heal this stuff, I don’t think we can ever become all that we’re really capable of being.

We can try to resist the inner journey but our hearts will never stop calling us toward taking this pilgrimage. 

Following a dream is what gives us the actual life experience to learn, question, transform, and show up in new ways. 

All our false assumptions about ourselves need to questioned. Our ego needs to be put in check. We need to get knocked down a few times to learn a bit of humility. These things are not bad or unique to us, they are just part of the process. 

When I moved to LA several years ago I had a dream of running my own life coaching business. I was certain that was my thing to do. At that time I thought that forever and ever I’d be blogging and coaching people one-on-one to make career transitions. It worked for a while but then I realized that my heart wasn’t in it anymore and being a solopreneur felt overwhelming most of the time. I still loved to help people but life was telling me it was time to do it in a different capacity. So, I stopped and yes, I suppose it was a failure by definition…but and this is a huge BUT, I can say after a lot of time and healing has passed that it was one of the best things to happen. It led me on a deeper journey into myself and to where life was leading me next. It showed me what I’m made of. It brought me to my knees and humbled me. It showed me I’m more resilient than I thought. It showed me that we can by no means do this alone and only through the love and kindness of others was I able to keep going. 

It was the end of one chapter but the beginning of a new more truthful chapter to who I am now. 

Dare I say I needed this inner journey of “failure” to become more of my true self? I believe so. It was a needed step in my journey.

Friend, keep showing up for both your outer and inner journeys. 

The outer journey leads to the inner journey and the inner journey refines us. 

This outer journey may feel like it’s crushing us at times but I like to remind myself that diamonds are made through intense pressure.

You are a diamond in the making my friend, and through that pressure comes a wisdom and inner beauty that can create real, positive change in the world.

Be brave and take the pilgrimage into the unknown territory of your heart. You might be surprised what you find.

You got this.

Love,

Laura