Dear friend,

Have you ever followed someone’s advice only to discover what worked for them most definitely did not work for you? 

I’ve done this many times over in my life.

Even when it comes to following a dream or “forging your own path”, as I like to call it, there are many, many “formulas” and fancy 7-Step Processes that promise success.

I’ve invested a lot of money on these kinds of things only to discover these formulas were not my path. 

I used to be really hard on myself about it but I now see that life and dream chasing can’t be summed up in an orderly formula or process….mostly because life is anything but orderly. 

On a much larger scale I think our culture is doing this to us constantly – offering up “advice” (rules?) on the path we should follow to lead a happy, successful, fulfilled life.

From a young age we are given these ideas of what to do with our lives. Sometimes we’re taught them but often they are like the air we breathe, we consume them without even realizing it. 

I’m still trying to decide if this is all that bad. It seems to me it’s often a necessary step for a lot of us in getting clarity on what is ours to do: in order to get clear on what we want, we first need to know what we don’t want. 

And once we know what we don’t want to be doing, there comes a period of unlearning.

Up until this point we spend a lot of our lives learning – getting educated, learning skills, gaining intellect. All great things. Someone teaches us things and we learn. It’s an “outward in” approach.

The path we forge for ourselves though comes from a deeper place than just intellect. This is the path of wisdom. We get to wisdom through a deeper place inside us. Wisdom is stored in our bodies, through our lived experience, through our deeper knowing of ourselves, and through a force greater than us. It’s an “inward out” approach. 

Our wisdom doesn’t look to outward influences for advice. For wisdom we go inward and search around for the knowing of what is right and true for us in that moment. We’ve got to get still enough though to hear this voice because our wisdom is like a quiet sage. It speaks in whispers, nudges, and hunches.

In order to hear this and set out on our unique path, we’ve got to get comfortable unlearning what we’ve been taught about who we are and what we should do with our lives. 

We’ve all got a purpose inside us but it’s buried by all the ideas of what we’ve been taught about who we are and what we’re supposed to do. As we unlearn, it’s like we are clearing away the dirt that’s been covering up what’s always been there. 

Maybe you aren’t the quiet one that likes to keep the peace, maybe you actually have a lot of say but your voice has been silenced by attitudes toward how women should behave. Unlearn those ideas to see what is yours to voice and change in the world. 

Maybe you don’t want to sit in a corner office with the cushy salary but empty soul. Maybe your creativity and emotions have been silenced about how men should behave. Unlearn those attitudes and see what is yours to create for the world.

These scenarios are as endless as there are human beings. We all have our own version of how we’ve been taught to look, behave, act, love, on and on. 

None of it is true. It’s just attitudes and beliefs that we need to set ourselves free from. 

Friend, this unlearning is a process and it takes time. It’s an unlearning process of shedding old beliefs about yourself and who you are, shedding old beliefs about what you can do in your life, shedding old beliefs about what is possible, shedding old beliefs of fear, shame, guilt and embracing this more truthful version of yourself. 

Forging your own path is more than just following a dream. It’s discovering and becoming your true self. This path leads to incredible wisdom and you can unlearn your way there one step at a time. 

You got this.

Love,

Laura